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The Velvet Hour
Vivian Vale, in a belted black satin blazer dress, sits at an empty hotel bar after hours.

My Flirtiest Lines That Always Work

by Vivian Vale, 55

After that shirtless runner circled back blushing, I spilled the whole story to my girlfriends over coffee.

Here are all seven flirtiest lines that always work, exactly as I delivered them.

  • Gym towel rack. "Mind handing me a fresh one? Yours looks softer." Used on a 41-year-old. He laughed, passed it over, and lingered.
  • Hardware aisle reach. "These shelves hate short girls. Help a lady?" Dropped on a 44-year-old. He blushed, grabbed the drill bits, and carried them out.
  • Dog park bench. "My dog approves of your throw. Care to demonstrate?" Said to a 39-year-old. He grinned wide and played fetch with us.
  • Car wash vacuum. "You handle that hose like a pro. Impressive." Hit a 37-year-old. He chuckled, topped off my quarters, and winked.
  • Bookstore fiction row. "This plot twist has nothing on your smile." Whispered to a 43-year-old. He laughed softly and recommended three more titles.
  • Farmers market tomatoes. "These feel ripe, but you look riper. Opinions?" Tried on a 40-year-old. He turned pink and bagged my basil for free.
  • Golf range tee box. "Your swing makes me forget my score. Teach?" Used on a 38-year-old. He beamed and adjusted my grip once.

Sweetie, the garden stays green.

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Vivian Vale, 55. Adults only.

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Meet the other hosts

Elena Voss in a candlelit bedroom with velvet curtains, emerald silk robe with a deep V, sitting on the bed with bare legs crossed
50

Elena Voss

“I whisper the rules that make a man forget his own name”

Ruby Hayes in a candlelit hotel suite, long wine-red silk robe with a deep V, standing by a four-poster bed
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Ruby Hayes

“Gary thinks these sheets are only for sleeping”

Margot Hale in a candlelit boudoir with a four-poster bed, wine silk robe slipping off one shoulder, pearl necklace
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Margot Hale

“Three marriages taught me exactly how slowly to unzip”