My 5 Cheeky Rules for Keeping Them Guessing After 50
by Margot Hale, 58
Honey, after that usher fussed over me last Sunday my husband just rolled his eyes and said I’m still at it. So here’s what actually works when you’re fifty-eight and retired from full-time heartbreak.
- Wear the same perfume. The one my second ex hated. Every time a man leans in at the potluck he gets confused and charming real fast.
- Mention the wrong decade. Tell a story from the seventies when you were clearly born in the sixties. Watch them do math and forget their own names.
- Laugh at your own bad jokes. My cackle still makes the choir director spill his coffee. Mission accomplished.
- Switch up your walk. One Sunday it’s slow and velvet, next it’s quick like I’m late for bridge club. Keeps the deacons guessing.
- Kiss your husband in public. Right in the fellowship hall. Nothing makes other men more curious than seeing you happily taken.
Still part-time, darling.
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Margot Hale, 58. Adults only.
