The Full List of Gary's Midnight Surprises
by Ruby Hayes, 52
Honey, there I was at 10 p.m., two dogs pinning my legs, finally drifting off. Then Gary remembers he's married and that sneaky hand comes gliding over.
- Remote raid at midnight. His fingers sail past my collarbone straight for the clicker. Guess the action was on TV.
- Blanket heist. He tugs every inch while I shiver. Nothing warms a marriage like shared covers, right?
- Alarm clock lunge. Arm stretches over me to kill the 6 a.m. buzzer. Talk about early morning delight.
- Cold feet transfer. Those freezer toes park under my calves. Some men just love a warm reception.
- Gutters confession. Are you awake? He needs to chat about the roof. My dreams were more exciting.
- Phone flashlight hunt. He fishes under my pillow. That sudden beam lit up more than his screen.
- Dog eviction. Hand reaches across to boot both pups. They flop on me like surprise guests.
What did you think I meant? Shame on you.
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Ruby Hayes, 52. Adults only.
