My Full List of Over-50 Truths

Gary promised to rock my world last night so I asked if the chair reclines and could we finish by nine. The truths kept rolling after that.

• My joints join the band. They pop louder than the church organ when I stand for the deacons.
• Date night ends early. I told Brad the waiter we'd like the senior special and be home by eight.
• My sister calls me spicy. Because I wear red lipstick and still flirt with the choir director.
• Reading glasses multiply. Gary found four pairs in the couch and asked if I was hiding a sixth.
• The church ladies gossip. They say at our age the only rocking Gary does is in his recliner.
• Linda's husband laughs. When Gary whispers sweet nothings that sound like grocery lists.
• Velvet feels dangerous. I wore that dress and Gary said whoa there before he fell asleep on the sofa.
• Gary's midnight snack. He raids the fridge then asks if I want to split his fiber pills.

What did you think I meant? Shame on you.

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